I received this email today. It’s a prime example of how not to communicate with your customers. Full disclosure… I receive many, many bad customer service, marketing, sales and spam messages on a regular basis… But this one takes the cake 🎂

For your reference (and enjoyment), here’s the full text of the message (with some information redacted to protect the innocent):

SUBJECT: Customer ID: XXXXXXXXXX

Hello Ben Klopfer (emigine) 

This is XXXXXXX From Google Adwords I’m your Account Specialist. Did you know you Ad is not RUNNING!!!! 

Call me or Email me so we can fix this!!!  Thanks XXXXXXX

XXXXXXX | Account Stratergist | XXXXXXX@google.com | XXXXXXXXXX Ext0390227 adword.google.com 

Without further ado, here’s the rundown of my top 10 favorite things about this email:

#10

What a welcoming subject line. Nothing says personalization like being treated like nothing more than a number!

#9

Holy grammar, batman!

#8

Points for spelling my name right, but come on, at least spell our company name right…

#7

The personalized portion is a different font. She may have copied and pasted this same message to lots of other people?!

#6

Ext0390227? Does that mean she could have nearly 400,000 or more other amazing, well-trained account specialists like herself?

#5

!!!!!!!!!! …and I thought I overused exclamation points!

#4

CAPITAL LETTERS make everything better!

#3

The AdWords link is straight up wrong. It goes to an error page! Wow…

#2

If I asked her to sum up her role in one single word: “Stratergist”

…and #1

After careful analysis, this is not spam or a scam of any kind… It is a legit email from Google!

Should I respond? What should I say? Let’s talk about how you’d reach to this message. Or, maybe you got it, too! If so, say hi to XXXXXXX on my behalf!

About the Author: I’m Ben Klopfer!!!!!! Vise Pursidant of Salez at eimagine (www.emalajineksdjfsdkfjljf.com). Did I miss something on my top 10 list? Please comment on this article RIGHT NOW and we can discuss our bestest tips for engaging customers. If you’d like to talk more about what NOT to do when working with customers, please take a number and stand in line. Or just call me at extension 00947192317211. Figure out the link and phone number yourself, duh.

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